About

They say no relationship problem is so vast that it can’t be solved without the healthy application of communication or lube—And that the same goes if the relationship is kinky, polyamorous, long-term, long-distance, complicated. This blog is where I try to interrogate that idea, with sincerity, suspicion, and lots of snark when required.

Me (CQ): A toppy, wordy, dykey, and active twenty-something woman living in a big city by a big lake. Recently polyamorous.

B^2: My long-distance, longest-term partner. Twenty-something, submissive, sexy-as-hell, and pursuing some big-ass career aspirations in a small town for the foreseeable future.

On blogging anonymously: I go by CQ here, and something slightly different on Fetlife, and something very different on OKCupid, and my real name in the real world, where I write for a living. It’s not very hard to connect the dots once you know the big picture, but the flawed project of identity management is very important to me.

On degrees of “outness:” I’m often out and proud. But I also sometimes struggle with the closet and shame, especially when it comes to my professional life and my extended family. I aspire to live a life where no part of me is hidden.